“You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.” »Inigo Montoya, The Princess Bride
Charm is deceit. ~King Solomon
She told her young daughter
Who was just starting elementary school
Be a lady
Don’t be loud
Don’t cause a commotion and have a tantrum
don’t get mad
nice boys like shy girls (verbatim, for real)
As the daughter reached high school
More rules were added on
Dress nice (aka wear a dress)
Put on a little makeup
So people can stare and admire you
But the daughter liked her denim jeans and plain baggy tee shirts
She admired the tomboys
For what they could do
For what was allowed and encouraged
While she was subconsciously forced to play a role of dainty expectations.
The mother didn’t gave her daughter etiquette and ethics instructions
That was learned by the young girl growing up
By reading the advice and dilemma help columns in the newspaper
when the mother was out of the public eye, she did opposite the instructions given to her child
I’m a mom
Were explanations of her rationale
But still at social functions, she would lift her pinky daintily
While sipping from her cup
I wonder if she knows that’s a sign of pretentiousness
And demure delicacy it is NOT
Why the false modesty?
Why the posed smiles?
Why the slightly awkward sounding false laugh?
What hypocrisy is this?
It was nothing but lures and lies
To catch a future husband’s eyes
Maybe a rich one
If not, oh well, at least my social status gets raised
But you see…like attracts like
It’s a universal law
That funny and charming “gentleman”
Wanted only a pretty prize (sans gilded cage,
she needed to be a hard worker to take on the household and child rearing chores).
All this happened in the later part
Of the 20th century
After the second wave women’s lib of the 1960’s.
None of this above indoctrination
are what women are here for.